What should I do? Got your own relationship question for the duo? See here. Why complicated?
One word: Motive. Look at it as objectively as possible, and ask yourself what your motivation is.
Are either of you attracted to the other? Is he your secret back-up plan? Would you be jealous if he got into a serious relationship?
And maybe this is the biggest question of all: If your partner had the identical friendship with another woman, would it bother you? If the honest answer to all of these questions is an emphatic no, then I would deem this a clean friendship. And while your male friend may be someone you confide in, your partner should be your most trusted confidante—if you want to have a truly intimate relationship. The bottom line is that no one person can give us all we need.
Can men and women be friends? viewers weigh in
It is so important in any successful relationship to maintain a true sense of autonomy, and this means having your own friends. Usually this is a non-issue. Women have girlfriends.
Men have their buddies. But if this is a clean, purely platonic friendship, assure your boyfriend.
Can men & women just be friends?
If he refuses to accept this, then unfortunately you may need to consider not taking the relationship to the next level just yet. Inevitably something has to give. And it colors everything. Given this annoyingly durable hard-wiring, it seems for better or worse one thing is almost always present when men and women relate to each other: ego. For instance, one of my best friends had what he described as a wholly satisfying and purely platonic friendship with a woman for years. They were extremely close.
Open thread: can you be close friends with someone you’re sexually attracted to?
Panic set in. It took him months to get over it. Allison and I also have a woman friend who recently told us that she set up one of her best guy friends with another woman she thought would be a good match for him.
Well, turns out she was right. The two totally hit it off and became a couple. The result?
Our matchmaking woman friend felt deeply, irrationally jealous. The relationship she had just facilitated became the source of a mini personal crisis.
Because when it comes to men and women and intimacy, we may want one thing, but nature often wants another. Of course not. Therefore, it seems to me that you have a few options—unfortunately none of them will make everyone happy:. First off, you can tell your boyfriend that you love him but plan to retain your friendship as it is.
Not only will this option likely cause your friend to be upset understandablybut it may very well cause you to resent your boyfriend. Your boyfriend will sense it and be relieved. You may also like.