Hi Aesha! I had to explain to a friend last night that dating is not the same as being married — she sometimes tries to give advice on something she has no experience of — my marriage. I think I need to work on not being so tactless when I say it but as a mom I don't have a lot of time these days to spend time on the phone listening to advice I did not ask for and which is coming from a lack of knowledge!
Dear girl of mine who has been married for a whole month now.
When people learn this fact about me, their reaction is usually pretty awkward.
10 marriage tips every wife needs to hear
Respect your husband. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that you have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone.
Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences with respect. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
Guard your heart. The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman.
I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1, more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling — relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.
God, husband, kids…in that order. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff.
When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me — I tried.
Don’t ask a single person for marriage advice and other wisdom for a happy marriage
There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit — for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter — you will keep resentment from growing. I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. Schedule a regular date night.
Married people are giving singles their best advice on love & it's eye-opening
Never stop dating your spouse. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation.
We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other — even after four years. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair.
I did this a lot in my marriages. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better. Learn his love language.
Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is — learn it and use it. Never talk negatively about him.
I learned this lesson the hard way too. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice.
38 best bits of marriage advice a woman could get
News flash, ladies — your mother cannot be objective! Choose to love. There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore.
Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad.
Those vows are sacred. So choose to love anyway.
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